Why Children Should Be Allowed To Play?
How important is it for parents to play with their child? Maybe it’s enough if we take the little one care of, We talk to him, but let the play remain up to himself?
Your Own childhood Experience:
It is very much determined by our own childhood experience, how many parents played with us, how early it took to be an adult, and how play was called nonsense. We want to pass on the positive we have experienced in childhood.
If we do not have the experience of playing with us, if we have not experienced such a shared joy that becomes a double joy, it is difficult to give it to our children.
Probably, that’s why we perceive playing with our children as torment, as a burdensome task. If the play comes with a lot of resistance, there is no point in torturing yourself, the child will feel it and it will only upset him.
Rather, I have to think what repels me so much. It is important in playing to find what we both like – big and small.
By playing with a child, we lay the foundation for him to trust us even as a teenager.
Play With Your Child
Parents often say that they get bored playing. For example, a mother with a doll in her hands, without realizing it, cleaned something. Maybe it’s a matter of time?
That it’s too long and mom is getting worried about the unfinished chores? Then we can agree: now we will play for 15 minutes and then I will clean the house, because that too has to be done.
But then it is important to dedicate the agreed minutes to the child.
Remember yourself as a child! If you now find it boring to play with your child, think:
- How were you as a child?
- Did mom and dad play with you?
- What would you like to do in their company?
- What did You miss?
Maybe you can give it to your child?
Of course, if the parents work, there is often little time in the evening, a lot to do, playing is not the most important thing.
Then it is worth thinking about priorities and whether we see the point in playing with children.
When the little one goes to the kindergarten, how much time do we spend together? One urgent hour in the morning and two three hours in the evening?
Allow The Child To Control Play
The child is also bored when we ask him to do this and that. Playing is a time when we can be in an equal position or even give control to the child, to follow his wishes.
It is very important not to confuse playing with color, lettering, counting or anything else. When learning, parents dictate the rules, but when we play, the child determines what and how they want.
If parents obey the child’s rules while playing, then it is much easier with a small talk, such as going to brush your teeth.
However, we also do not listen to people with whom we do not have good contact, who have not listened to and respected us. Why should a child be different?
Playing is a way to build a more equal relationship.
Of course, we must warn the child in time that we will soon stop playing, so as not to cut off: “Now, go to the bathroom!”
If you write an e-mail and you will be told, “Get up now and go!” – you answer that you will complete the letter or at least the sentence. The child must also complete his or her affairs.
In addition, sometimes it is enough for the child that the mother sits next to him and watches the car ride or the doll goes. It will also count to him playing together.
If the little one wants his mother to have something, but she has no idea what to do, you can also ask: what will the doll do now? Where will the car go?
Playing does not mean inventing a storyline. The presence is important – that the parent sees the child, observes.
As a result, the child gets a great acceptance and acceptance, which he does not get in any way when we say: get dressed, eat breakfast, brush your teeth!
In shared play, the child sees that the parent has time to be with me, at the pace I need.
If there are games that parents don’t like, he/she can say:
“This is boring for me, it’s not interesting. Maybe we can play something else?,”
It teaches that you may like something, you may not like it, maybe you are not in the right mood.
“I don’t want this today anymore, because we played it three nights already.”
Thus the child learns to solve difficulties, find compromises.
Playing Together Builds Trust
Sometimes parents think that I am reading books to a child, talking to him, so why should I play with him? But there is an age when this is not possible at all.
Two or three-year-olds can be explained something and he will understand it, but an actual conversation will not happen yet. Playing is a language he understands.
It won’t be that you can play alone while you are little, I don’t have time, but now that you’ve grown up, we’ll talk cool. Open conversation grows out of play.
Because the child knows that parents can receive undivided attention and time when they are not tested, dug, instructed.
Take part For 100%!
Playing together is also a matter of contact. Therefore, it is not enough for the parent to be next door and, for example, when washing dishes, make sloppy comments about the play, while the child plays scenes with dolls or car’s next door.
We look at the baby smile, dandle. If I only come to him to feed and change diapers, we delay his development.
Children raised in orphanages, who have not received so much attention and contact lag in emotional and intellectual development by about a year.
Because of the ability to communicate, language, emotion regulation develops only in relationships. A child cannot learn it alone.
Most often, parents complain about discipline, about behavior that the child does not listen to.
But the closer the relationship and the clearer the boundaries of what can and can’t be, the less behavioral the problem.
We cannot demand obedience from a child if we have not given our attention, if he has not felt like a value through our presence.
And where else do we experience such being together? Maybe another walk is close to it. But how many of us go for a walk with the baby every evening?
We could say that when we come together from the kindergarten, we can talk, explore the world. But do you and your girlfriend feel that you have met and enjoyed your time going from point A to B? Is it all that it takes?
Contact and relationships take time.
Parents know that sometimes, as if doing nothing special, maybe even putting the child to bed, sitting a little next to the bed, he begins to tell about his experiences in the kindergarten or at school.
It doesn’t happen by request when you ask how did you do today. But now that we haven’t talked about it at all, when there is peace, the child tells what happened to him.
In addition, young children often forget what they did in kindergarten. When they come home, they already have other thoughts, they can’t even tell what they ate at lunch, unless it was something delicious or tasteless.
Yes, even very important and profound experiences for young children are sometimes forgotten and floated in the memory only in associations, such as playing.
Play So You Both Be Happy
How to find the total joy of playing if you haven’t done it before? You need to look for something that both adult and child like.
Maybe it could be an active, fun running? There is emotional, physical and verbal contact.
Play hide and seek, fight, dance. Physical movement is good because it allows both the child and the parent to respond to the stress and fatigue that has accumulated during the day.
The sooner the parents find a way, and they like to play, the better – the child feels very much when it happens from the heart.
Sometimes, when parents play with a child that they have not done before, the child loses the behavioral difficulties that used to be there, as the contact with mom and dad improves.
Think again about your childhood! What are you happy to remember? It’s brushing your teeth or getting dressed for kindergarten.
Those are common activities, games. As with Dad, you built masonry blocks, as you all built a snowman together.
Playing do not have to be big and long, sometimes the most precious memories are about all the small things. Other times, the child needs five minutes to dance with his mother, and then he goes about his own business.
It is important to him that when little one calls mother; the mother responds. In such moments, the child’s self-esteem also increases.